You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
