My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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