playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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