I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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