i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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