I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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