I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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