Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
