So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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