Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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