Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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