Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
