honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
