I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
why is half of my head shaved?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize