is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
