So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
