Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
