this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
