i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You should frame my arrest warrant.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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