Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
