I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
