Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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