Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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