i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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