my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
