Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
