just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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