i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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