The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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