It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
