Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
