Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
