Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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