i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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