Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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