Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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