Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
