Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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