I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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