So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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