Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
