i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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