Umm I'm too high to move.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
