stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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