After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
