Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize