there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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