you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
