I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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