i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
