I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
