i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
