apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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