That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
