He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she peed on how many people?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
