I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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