dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize