There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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