is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
