In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
