If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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