I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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