Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
love makes seman taste better
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
