I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
