the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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