It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
